Take a breath

“The very act of resolving to love, no matter what our emotional state, is the crucible and school of love.”
~ Monks of New Skete, In the Spirit of Happiness“

For all of us, there are days when there is no motivation to further ourselves. No drive to dig deeper. No ability to concentrate on the pursuit and uncovering of the divine.

We pick up a book chock-full of luminosity (we know, because it has changed us at every page), and the living words there lay flat against the paper, refusing to rise to meet us.

We take a deep breath, intent on gathering ourselves into the great act of the day, the saving or serving of someone, of something, if only ourselves.

We sit to meditate and the thoughts pull back the tent flap on the circus on fire within. There is no bull whip, no bait nor bribe, no amount of pleading that can calm the untethered beasts.

“In every circumstance, regardless of the outcome, the main thing Jesus has asked me to do is to love God and my neighbor as religiously as I love myself. The minute I have that handled, I will ask for my next assignment. For now, my hands are full.”
~ Barbara Brown Taylor, Holy Envy

We forget, on some days, that our assignment is not complex. We forget that it is not ours to bring about the mission, but that the school of love surrounds us at every turn, whether we’re looking for it or not.

Our practices our great and marvelous, and help us to stand–or lay prostrate–in a posture of love, to hold our feet in the flow, to keep the conduit open. But they are not ends in themselves. All that holds us up from day to day, on some days might show its soft underbelly, might look to us for care, might simply need a rest. Some days, the practices will flop like fish, the food will refuse to feed us, and all the great and marvelous things might reveal themselves–such a gift–as servants and not the Source. We might be reminded that they are all ways that we tap in, but not that which we tap inTO.

And we remember. It is ours only to love. That is enough.

“Be kind. Everyone you meet is waging a great battle.”
~ St. Philo of Alexandria

The plant on the sill, thirsty.
The cat on the stoop, hungry.
The human that we pass on the road,
in the hallway,
at the checkout.
Those we live near.
Those we live with.
Those we are.

The school of love is here, now.
It requires nothing but, one more time, resolve.

Time to love louder, no matter what it looks like.